


A 'Not So Perfect' First Time

by rayraycash



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Established Relationship, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2013-04-19
Packaged: 2017-12-08 21:38:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayraycash/pseuds/rayraycash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone describes losing your virginity as being some magical, perfect, other-worldly experience, but... what if it wasn't?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A 'Not So Perfect' First Time

**Author's Note:**

> So I'd posted this on another site a while back and decided to move it on here. Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!

If you asked me, I wouldn’t be able to tell you how this whole thing had progressed so quickly. Honestly, I have no idea. It feels like one day, Lou and I were being introduced over a family dinner, then the next day, here we are, naked in his bed, about to have sex for the first time.

Don’t get your panties in a wad, we’re dating, it’s not like I’m just having sex with him for the hell of it. I love him and he loves me, and I think we’re ready to have sex. Lou’s been thinking that for a while now, but I’ve just recently decided.

We met six months ago through a family friend of mine who attends university with Louis. He’d come to Holmes Chapel for a week over Christmas Holiday and, by association, had been invited to my home for dinner one night. We’d hit it off instantly, despite the two year age gap, and everything was history from there.

I, over-analyzing everything, as usual, thought that a discussion before-hand would do us both a bit of good. So, I’d stopped him, mid-snog, to talk out what exactly was about to happen. I was obviously nervous, Louis was just annoyed.

“Harry, just let everything happen, it’s not a science project,” Louis told me and attempted to continue but I stopped him.

“I just… what’s going to happen? Who’s going to… you know? Which position are we going to have?” I asked awkwardly, feeling a blush rise on my cheeks.

“How about this, we just go with whatever feels right?” Louis asked, clearly trying to be patient.

“But…”

“No “but’s” Sweet Cheeks, just go with the flow,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss me again.

He was always doing that. ‘Go with the flow.’ What does that even mean? People drown when they go with the flow of a strong current. What if I metaphorically drown tonight?

“Quit over-thinking it, Love. This is supposed to be a primitive instinct,” he teased as he nipped lightly at my neck.

“I know, but…”

“Ah, ah, ah, I said no “but’s”.” He told me pulling away slightly to meet my eyes.

“Louis, I just… I’m nervous,” I confessed, blushing.

“I hadn’t noticed,” he teased with a smirk.

“Hey! Don’t be mean,” I whined but couldn’t keep the smile off my face.

“How about we wait a little longer? Maybe you just aren’t ready yet,” he suggested and began to fully pull away from me.

“NO! I’m ready! I just…”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me, Cheeky. If you aren’t ready then I’ll wait for you,” he whispered to me, gently pushing a curl out of my face.

“I am ready though,” I whimpered, suddenly feeling like he didn’t want to go through with this himself.

His eyes stared into mine for a good thirty seconds before he slowly pushed himself forward. I saw him glance down at my lips then back to my eyes. After what felt like forever he pressed his lips firmly against mine and let his eyes slip closed so I did the same. I felt his hands on my waist, holding me firmly in place, but not so tightly that I couldn’t push away.

His mouth opened and his tongue licked across my bottom lip, asking permission to enter which I immediately granted. All of his movements were soft and gentle, like I was too fragile for his usual roughness. It was refreshing. I felt myself growing more confident as he pressed himself to me and pushed us both back on the bed.

He placed his legs on either side of my right one, causing our thighs to rub against each other’s steadily growing erections. I felt a small moan escape my throat when he grinded down against me. He smirked at the sound and grinded down again, this time leaning in to create an amazing friction.

I was getting lost in it all. The taste of Louis, the scent of his musky cologne, the amazing electricity he was causing throughout my entire body. I felt his hands start to travel up my sides then to my arms. Individually he took each of my arms and put it around his neck.

“You can touch me too, Haz,” he chuckled into the kiss.

I felt myself blush slightly at the thought of what I was doing. I was curious though. I loved when he would touch me while we kissed. Maybe he’d love it too.

I slid one of my hands up into his feathery hair. It was so soft and smooth to the touch. I ran my hand through it and felt it catch a little knot, pulling slightly. A deep groan rolled off Louis’ lips suddenly and I felt myself smile. So he liked hair pulling.

I ran my other hand through his hair and tugged on it lightly. He moaned and thrust into my thigh erratically. It was really the first time I’d ever heard Louis like that.

“Oh… Hazza… uh, you’re so… mmmm, good,” he moaned into my lips and I couldn’t help but giggle at this.

I stopped kissing him to burst into a fit of giggles. He smiled as he stared, questioningly at me.

“What’s funny?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, I just… I thought that was funny,” I managed to get out through my laughter.

Despite the fact that I was kind of laughing at him, Louis smiled as well and when my laughter died down he leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

“You’re adorable, you know that?” he asked seriously and I felt myself blush.

“I’ve been told that before,” I told him and he laughed now.

It only took a few seconds for the room to get quiet again and Louis and I were caught in another staring match. He inched in closer to me and I waited, anticipating the moment our lips touched. 

He held though, centimeters from my lips. Our breathing mixed and mingled together as our eyes stayed focused on each other. He stayed frozen, the tiniest distance away from me.

It took me a few seconds, but I finally realized he was waiting for me to close the gap. I reached an arm up to his neck and pulled him down, crashing our lips together. Just like that all the gentleness from earlier was gone, replaced with passion and urgency.

Louis moved his outside leg to join the other in between my thighs, spreading my legs further. I let out a moan as I felt his erection rub against my own. Suddenly though, he was pulling his mouth from mine and rolling us into a new position.

I’m not positive how exactly we got like this, but we’d shuffled around to put Louis lying flat on his back with me settled between his legs. He gently began pushing my head down toward his engorged member and I knew immediately what he wanted. I’d never given one before though.

“Um, Louis…” I whispered.

Immediately the gentle pushing stopped and Louis propped himself up on his elbows.

“What, Love?” he asked.

“I’ve… um… I’ve never…” I was mumbling and caught in my words but Louis, as usual, knew how to get me out.

“You’ve never given a blowjob before?” he asked, shocked by the news.

I only shook my head indicating that he was right. He sat fully up now and took my hands in his.

“But what about when you dated…”

I cut him off, not wanting to hear my ex’s name.

“We never did anything.”

“But Liam told me that you…” he trailed off.

“I lied to Liam about it. I’ve never done anything,” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

“So, you’re a virgin?” he asked now and suddenly looked scared.

“Yeah. Is that a problem?” I pulled myself closer to him.

“Harry, this is not how you should lose your virginity,” he spoke sadly and began pulling his hands away from me but I held onto them tightly, “You deserve a room full of candles and a cheesy song playing in the background, and rose petals, not my dingy apartment.”

“Louis…” I tried to reason with him but he was having none of it.

“I don’t want you to regret this. I didn’t have the perfect, fairytale first time. You deserve that. I’m not going to take that away from you.”

“Louis, I’m fine…”

“No, you’re not. God, I should’ve known. I’m so sorry I’ve been pressuring you into this for weeks now. I wouldn’t have if I’d known,” he apologized now.

“Would you let me talk?” I sighed, frustrated.

He looked taken aback by my sudden outburst but nodded, nonetheless.

“I’m ready Louis. And I don’t need all that cheesy cliché stuff. I love you. I know I love you, and that’s that. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“You’re only 17, Harry. What if you look back on this and regret it?”

“Do you know where I was the moment I realized I loved you?” I asked him, gripping his hands tighter in my own, scared he would leave at any moment.

He shook his head and I continued, “I was laying on this bed. It was the fourth time I’d come to visit you and we just got done watching Love Actually. I looked over at you and I realized that I’d fallen completely head over heels for you. Then I told you three weeks later on this bed. The first time I ever cried in front of you we were sitting right here. We’ve had so many nights of just laying right here and talking until the sun came up about nothing. I don’t need my first time to be movie quality, I just want it to be somewhere I feel comfortable and with someone I love. I love you Louis, and I want to have sex with you and I want it to be tonight, in this bed.”

He was smiling as I finished my little speech and finally he leaned in to peck my lips again.

“You’ll make quite a wonderful politician one day, Harry,” he chuckled.

I blushed now and looked down at our joined hands. I felt him kiss my forehead and lean back to look me over.

“Now that we’ve confessed all that, let’s get on with this,” I stated, suddenly feeling awkwardly exposed and vulnerable.

He chuckled again at my words and brought his hands to cup my cheeks and make me look at him.

“Alright, but if you change your mind, you tell me and I’ll stop, okay. I don’t care what we’re doing,” he whispered sincerely and I nodded.

“You promise this is what you really want?” he asked and I nodded again.

Within seconds our lips were together again and I was the one pushing him back this time. When I felt his head hit the pillow I brought my hands up to his hair, suddenly feeling balls-y. I tugged lightly while managing to grind my hips down on him.

A moan was my response. I smiled a little as I repeated the action and then broke off of the kiss to catch my breath. He was smirking up at me when I looked down at him.

“You sure you’ve never done this before?” he teased and I blushed slightly.

I gave his entire body a sweep with my eyes and felt my already throbbing member twitch with excitement. I wanted to do everything tonight. I wanted to experience it all at once.

“I…” I blushed even harder thinking about what I was about to say.

“What, Love?” Louis asked me, pushing himself up on his elbows again.

“I-I want to give you a… you know,” I couldn’t bring myself to say the word. 

He stared at me, confused by my lack of detail.

“A what?”

“A… you know…” I awkwardly made a hand sign that only vaguely represented what I was trying to get across.

Louis seemed to grasp it though, and let out a lighthearted laugh.

“A blowjob?”

“Yeah…” my face felt like it was on fire now from embarrassment.

“Harry, you don’t have to give me a blowjob,” he was still smiling as he spoke which only made me blush harder.

“Well, I want to. I just don’t know what to do,” I confessed and he plopped back down on the bed.

“So you’re looking for an instructor?” he laughed to himself.

“Hey, I’m trying to be nice here!” I couldn’t help but giggle as I playfully slapped him.

“You really don’t have to, Harry. It won’t affect the sex at all,” he spoke plainly now but the smile was still in place.

“It’s foreplay, right? Like pre-gaming for a party. The party is always more fun if you pre-game before hand,” I told him and he smirked at this.

“Since when does my innocent little boyfriend go to parties?” he teased.

I only smirked back and scooted myself down the bed so I was further down Louis’ body.

“Alright, what do I do? Just put the whole thing in my mouth?” I asked and Louis laughed again.

“God, I feel like I’m stealing all of your innocence in one go. What will your mum think of me?” he laughed, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“You aren’t going to tell my mum about this!” I stared at him, shocked that he would even suggest such a thing.

This only made him laugh harder.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

I calmed myself down slightly, now that that fear was subdued and lowered my head down, closer to Louis’ erection. I looked to his face and found that he was staring at me, watching my every move.

It was really just awkward. I looked back down at his penis, and suddenly, the thought that this was where he peed from ran through my mind. I was momentarily disgusted, but quickly shook off the thought.

Okay, maybe it won’t be bad. Maybe it’ll be okay, and there isn’t really a way to mess this up for Louis, right? He’ll enjoy it and I’ll get through it having a new skill under my belt. Yeah, it won’t be bad.

I reached my tongue out to lick along the tip of it, just to get a taste. What I didn’t expect, was the deep groan that rumbled from Louis’ lips. I looked back up at him to see that he was no longer watching me. Instead, his head was thrown back against the pillow and he was panting.

Wow, just one lick had that kind of effect on him? That’s a little crazy.

“Again…” He moaned and I complied.

This time though, I let my tongue run all the way up the length of his shaft. He moaned again and I saw his hands fist the sheets we were laying on.

“Yes… just, uh… just like that…” he moaned again, and again I licked up his length.

Feeling a little bit more confident, I lowered my head down to take the tip in my mouth and slowly lower myself down. I felt Louis begin to tremble under me at the feeling.

I stopped when I my gag reflex started acting up. I thought I was considerably far down, but apparently it wasn’t enough for Louis. He suddenly thrust his hips upward, driving his dick straight down my throat. I immediately pulled off completely, gagging furiously.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Louis was now sitting up, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and rocking me like I was a crying child.

“Don’t do that,” I whined when I could finally speak again.

“I know, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry,” he repeated.

I pushed him back down and settled between his legs once more. I made sure to hold onto his hips this time, as I lowered myself. Once I was all the way down I placed my tongue on his erection as I pulled off.

I felt Louis’ hands tangle themselves in my curls. He moaned and began gently pushing and pulling on my head to create a rhythm.

“Mmhmmm, oh… Curly…” his voice suddenly jumped an octave, “Harry, you’re biting me. Harry, no, stop,” he commanded instantly releasing my head and letting his head fall back.

I sat up and blushed, slightly embarrassed by the fact that I’d managed to screw up.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“No, it’s okay,” he panted and pushed himself up.

He was sweating now, his naked body glistening in the dim lighting of his room. His bangs were plastered to his forehead and he was trying to catch his breath.

“Wow, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… bite you,” I forced myself to say the last part and he smiled.

“It was your first time, I get that,” he told me and reached to cup my cheeks in his hands.

“I just…” I trailed off, not knowing how to say what I was feeling. 

“We’ll work on it, yeah?” he nodded slightly and waited for me to do the same, “Now it’s my turn.”

His smile turned to a devilish smirk as he pulled me back on him and flipped us so that he was over me. He crashed our lips together and started ferociously kissing me while letting his hands slip downward. I felt him grab under my right thigh and bring it up to wrap around his waist. It was only slightly uncomfortable, but I was too distracted by Louis’ tongue to care.

When he pulled away, though, I shifted my body awkwardly, trying to get comfortable. I felt Louis reach over to the bedside drawer and retrieve something. I heard a popping sound and felt my nerves begin to kick in.

It only took a few seconds for Louis to complete his task and continue to kiss me, but I’d gone stiff. I felt his fingers graze my entrance and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for him to push in.

“Relax, Cheeky. I’m going slow,” he reassured me then pressed his lips to mine in a quick kiss, “If it’s too much, then tell me to stop, okay?”

I only nodded, keeping my body rigid in anticipation.

“Hey, hey, Harry, look at me,” he commanded and I opened my eyes to see him only centimeters away, hovering over me, “You have to relax or it’ll be worse.”

“Worse?” I couldn’t keep the fear from spiking my voice.

“It’s going to hurt at first, but it’ll get better. I promise,” He told me and leaned down to peck my lips again, “Now just relax. Deep breaths, okay?”

I nodded and took a deep breath before he brought our lips together again. I sighed into the kiss, trying to free the tension building up within me. He deepened the kiss, our tongues fighting one another in our mouths. I felt myself starting to loosen up under his touch, that is, until I felt his index finger slip inside of me.

I gasped at the feeling and tensed back up. It didn’t hurt though, it just felt weird. I relaxed into it and wiggled my hips slightly, adjusting to the intrusion. Louis waiting a few more seconds after I settled before pulling it back a little and pushing it in a little further.

He started kissing me again before pulling the finger completely out and pushing it back in with another finger. That’s when I got a little uncomfortable. It didn’t hurt, necessarily, but it wasn’t pleasant either.

“Are you still okay?” Louis panted.

“Yeah, still good,” I managed to squeak out without my voice cracking.

He pressed his lips to mine again and began pumping his fingers in and out, scissoring them as he went.

I began to get more and more comfortable with it as he sped up his rhythm and bent his fingers inside of me. I started panting myself, and pulling my leg up further, wanting more of the feeling. He pulled completely out though, and pulled away from the kiss.

“Are you ready?” he asked and I could only nod, still out of breath.

I felt him sit back a little and rip open a condom. I almost told him not to worry about it, but before I could utter the words he was back in position, lathering up his newly wrapped member.

“Alright Babe, are you sure about this?” he asked once he’d finished.

I could feel him against the rim of my entrance. He was itching to push himself in, I could feel it.

“I’m sure, just…” I paused, meeting his eyes and taking a breath, “be gentle?”

I felt like a scared child when the words slipped from my mouth. Yes, I was loving this, but he told me it would hurt. The last thing I want is for my first time to be excruciatingly painful.

“I will, I promise,” he replied, leaning down and pecking my lips.

I smiled up at him when he pulled back and saw him return it. He leaned down again now and started kissing me again, immediately asking permission for entrance. I complied and began the battle for dominance with him, my hands finding their way to his messy locks. Under any normal circumstances he’d be freaking out about his hair.

I moaned out into the kiss, bucking up to rub my erection against his lower abdomen. When my hips fell back down I felt him at my entrance again. That’s when he decided to press in.

I felt him slowly start to push into me and gasped. He was a lot bigger than his fingers.

At hearing me, Louis paused his actions but continued to kiss me passionately. I wiggled my hips a little, adjusting myself around the rather large intrusion. After a few more seconds, Louis pressed himself in a little further, making me wince.

It was beginning to get more painful with every bit he slid in. I stopped kissing him back completely when he was only halfway in, unable to focus on anything but the pain.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked me seriously but I shook my head no.

He said it would get better. The fingers felt good after a bit, this would too. I just had to get it completely in first.

“Harry, we can stop,” he assured me but I shook my head again.

“I’m fine,” I winced then bit my bottom lip.

“No you aren’t,” he sighed and began pulling out.

“What? No, stop!” I yelled, grabbing onto him to keep him close.

“Harry, I’m not going to hurt you,” he told me and pulled out more.

He was almost completely out when I pushed him over, catching him off guard and flipping us both. I didn’t really catch myself when we flipped so I came down, hard, taking in his entire erection at once.

I yelled out in pain at the feeling I could only compare to being ripped in half. A strangled sob was caught in a yelp of pain and Louis was immediately sitting up.

“Harry!” he exclaimed, pulling me into his arms, not daring to move our lower bodies.

I clutched onto him, digging my fingernails into his skin. I took a few deep breaths and decided to wiggle my hips a little. What resulted wasn’t pain, like I thought. It was the tiniest wave a pleasure. I sighed into Louis’ chest and wiggled my hips some more. I felt a growl in Louis’ chest that he didn’t let escape his lips. He wanted more. I wanted more, anything to stop this pain.

I pushed Louis away from me and back onto the bed, resting my hands on his chest as I pushed off. He made no motion to move, obviously thinking I was just going to pull off, I didn’t though. There was no way I’d gone through that much pain to not get some pleasure out of this. I began lowering myself back down, slowly this time.

“Harry, no, you’re hurt,” Louis protested but I silenced him with a roll of my hips.

“You said it would get better,” I mumbled determinedly as I lifted up again and pushed back down.

My hands were balled into fists, pressing on his chest for support. I shifted my hips again, desperately wanting to find something that felt more comfortable, but I had no idea what I was doing. Suddenly a rush of emotion swept over me and I felt tears pooling in my eyes as I lifted myself again, a little further this time and pressed myself down a little quicker. Searing pain was my only reward.

Louis didn’t even seem to want this anymore which made me feel completely insecure and kind of horrible about myself for managing to screw up not only our first time as a couple, but my overall first time. I felt more tears beginning to slip from my eyes now and roughly wiped them away, not wanting Louis to see. There wasn’t much chance of that though.

He sat up and gently flipped us again so that I was lying on my back, head on his soft pillows. He reached down and grabbed my right leg again, bringing it to circle around his waist. Instantly, part of the pain was relieved and I felt myself relax a little.

“I love you,” Louis whispered, then pressed light kisses to my cheeks.

He pulled out a little and rocked himself back in, slowly and gently. I clutched onto his biceps as he pulled out again and rocked back in, instantly creating a slow rhythm that began to feel nice. I felt his hips shift a little as he pulled out again, then pressed back in.

I gasped out now. He’d hit that glorious little bundle of nerves inside of me. He pulled out then pushed right back into my prostate, making me gasp again.

“Louis!” I let out a breathy moan.

“You’re so perfect,” he mumbled, his face pressed next to mine, whispering in my ear, “You’ve always been perfect to me.”

I felt myself blush at the compliment then moaned when he thrust in a little harder. He grunted in my ear as he started speeding up, each time hitting my prostate.

Very quickly, his thrusts began to get quicker and harder, slamming into me. All that could be heard were the sounds of skin slapping skin and our grunts and moans. I felt a thin layer of sweat over my entire body and could smell sex in the room.

“Mmmmmm…,” he grunted, “you’re so… unnf, so tight. You feel so good.”

I moaned out in response, not trusting my voice. He kept slamming straight into my prostate creating the most amazing feeling rushing through my body in huge crashing waves. My fingernails were digging into his arms as I tried to still my slowly building orgasm. I felt that familiar feeling bubbling in my lower stomach and willed it to stop.

“Uh, oh, Harry… Har-ry,” Louis stuttered out and I felt his rhythm stop, replaced by sporadic thrusts.

The sounds of his grunts were too much for me to handle. I couldn’t control my pending orgasm anymore. A moan that could rival that of a porn star tore from my throat as I felt my release. I squeezed around Louis as my cum painted both of our torso’s.

It only took Louis a few more hard thrusts to push him over the edge into euphoria. A small gasp escaped his lips as he stilled his hips, letting his orgasm take hold of him. I watched his face scrunch together in ecstasy as he released into the condom.

I was gasping for breath as I came out of my high, still clinging to Louis with all of my remaining strength. My eyes began to lose focus as he bent down to give me a peck on the cheek.

“I love you,” I heard his voice whisper.

It was deeper than usual, full of exhaustion. I felt a smile tug at my lips thinking that I was the cause of that voice, and, God, was that voice sexy.

“I love you, too, Boo Bear,” I mumbled, not having the energy or desire pronounce my words.

I heard him chuckle lightly before taking a deep breath and starting to pull out of me. The intense pleasure I’d felt before was now gone and I could already feel the pain in my muscles. I winced as he finished pulling out and scrunched my face up in pain.

“Sorry, Love. That’ll probably hurt for a bit,” he apologized.

“Don’t care,” I mumbled again, letting my eyes drift closed, “Worth it.”

I heard the sounds of his gentle laughter once more and felt a familiar pair of lips press to mine.

“I’m glad,” Louis’ new gravelly voice whispered before pressing lips to mine once more.

The bed shifted once the lips left mine and sudden Louis was gone. I opened my eyes in a panic now, fearing that he, for whatever reason, had decided to leave. I looked around the room to see that I was alone, lying on Louis’ bed, covered in my own cum. A jolt of emotion, too intense for me to describe crashed into me, but before I could actually begin to panic, Louis reappeared through the bedroom door, wash cloth in hand.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked, obviously seeing the sheer panic in my face.

“I- I thought you left.”

Speaking the words out loud sounded ridiculous. Why would he leave? He’d just gone to get a wash cloth. I realized this only after I’d spoken though.

“It’s my flat, why would I leave? If anything, I’ve got to be the one worried about you leaving,” he smiled at his last statement and walked over to me.

“I’d never leave you, Louis,” I told him sincerely and his smile grew.

He ran the wash cloth over my abdomen now, gently wiping me clean.

“Good, because I’d absolutely hate to know that someone else would get to see you like this.”

I blushed now, and felt it spreading over my entire body as Louis finished up. He leaned down and pressed a kiss onto my lower abdomen, just barely below my belly button.

“Let’s get some sleep, yeah?” he asked, tossing the cloth away and crawling into bed beside me.

“Yeah,” I responded, feeling exhaustion taking over my body again now that Louis’ arms were wrapped securely around me.

“Night Curly,” he whispered in my ear.

“Night Boo Bear.”

“I love you,” he spoke after a few moments pause and a smile broke onto my face once again.

“I love you too.”


End file.
